This is part three of a three-part series now called ‘Living Your Dreams’. If you haven’t read parts one and two already you can find part one “What the Heart Wants” all the way from November 2012 here and part two “Listening To Yourself” from earlier this year here.
So many times I’ve sat down to write the last part of this series but I always ended up doing something else. I’ve realised now that it was because I wasn’t ready to convey exactly what I wanted to say because I hadn’t fully felt or understood it yet.
This third part is about courage. The courage not to just go looking for your dreams and to find them but to then grab hold of them with both hands and let them take you wherever you dream they can go. And that is a monumentally scary thing. To let go, to really and truly release yourself into something without really knowing how it will fare. This is different. This I’ve only ever felt once before and it scared the hell out of me then too!
Now, although writing is the one thing that I would give up everything else for, I’ve been writing stories since I was maybe seven or eight and it is like breath to me. However, I do not want to make it into something that dictates the acquiring of my ‘daily bread’. It is something that I wish to let out into the world on my own terms.
So, I chose one of my other dreams to pursue in this manner instead, which is almost as dear but, as I said in part two, does not conflict with acquiring the first dream, and after working on it for about a year and a half now I most recently received an offer to take my work in this area to the next level. Doing this could very well open some very important doors for me and my business and take me to the place I want to be in.
However, I am not as ecstatic as I should be. I was when I got the news but now… I’m confused with my reaction. This is what I wanted! It is! But parts of me won’t get on board! Now this here is where the courage comes in. You may think that after you pin point your dream and really listen to yourself that the hardest part after that is to find the opportunities. Yes, that is a tricky part, walking down the path and figuring out which way to turn but the hardest part is that first step down the path and without it, you’re not going anywhere.
But remember I wanted to be a psychologist at one time, and for good reason. I’m a born analyst, and I like to talk to myself and myself is also a very good listener. Hope that doesn’t sound absolutely crazy but I ventured again into my subconsciousness because I needed to understand this. The last thing I wanted was to stand in my own way!
What was this about?
For me, it isn’t just a fear of failure. I am one of the few people that I know that just happens to be good at everything that I try. Swimming being the exception. Yes, people love to hate me but they also love me because I’m honest and helpful and genuinely want to see others succeed as well as I do. I believe more than anything that if I can do something so can you and I don’t mind telling you how I went about it at all. You would think that this habit of ‘success’ would make me fear failure but it’s actually the exact opposite. I’ve always also had a laissez faire attitude. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll just try something else. I guess my propensity to ‘succeed’ was actually a result of this same attitude. While others were fretting and worrying, I was relaxing my mind. Nothing was ever that big a deal for me to hyperventilate over.
Now I purposefully put the word ‘success’ in brackets before because one man’s idea of success is different than another’s. Which is exactly my point. Could it possibly be that this thing that I have a chance to succeed in isn’t some idle goal that society had placed on me, like ‘go to school, finish exams, get a job, buy a car!’ This was something that I had chosen for myself so whereas before failure was not important because I didn’t see the goal as important, suddenly the idea of failure has become very important now, almost as important as the goal itself, because of how much I want it!
I’ve also never had everything that I wanted. I’m the youngest girl in my family with three girls before me so hand-me-downs was the story of my life! Even as an adult I find it hard to get something new just for the sake of having something new when the old one will do just fine. So, I’ve gotten used to denying myself of things, even when I want it I justify in myself that I don’t really need it.
Maybe I’m surprised that everything that I want would just fit together, and so suddenly! I guess Marianne Williamson‘s words were right all along. Our deepest fear really isn’t that we are inadequate. Inadequacy is the norm, succeeding and having all our dreams coming true, realising that we are powerful beyond measure is what truly frightens us. And more and more I’m seeing that it is true.
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world – Marianne Williamson
Originally I had planned to end this series with a conversation I had with a friend one evening. Like me, he had an opportunity staring him in the face and fear was rearing it’s ugly head and me, the Mistress of Motivation, was telling him all the reasons why he shouldn’t let fear get the better of him. But in short, he was afraid that his plans wouldn’t work and he would be left in a dark place. A place he had been in before and didn’t want to go back to. I know that place as well.
In the end I left him with two things.
A wise person does what they will be happy with later on” – Joyce Meyer
At the end of the day this is about being happy and content and building the life that you want to live and though you might be scared or unsure now, if something is on your heart to do or an opportunity lays before you to fulfill your dream that will make you happy in the long run or ‘later on‘ then you owe it to yourself to try. To try and have faith that you will succeed and that IF you fail, to trust that nothing will stop you from trying again, and once you decide that, the universe will work in your favour and bring another opportunity to you. The powers that be can’t help you when you give up. Positive attracts positive and vise versa.
The second thing I told him was this.
To truly be an adult means not even to lean on excuses – Unknown
He kept saying all the reasons why he couldn’t and listing all his responsibilities but he needed to understand that he was the only person that could make himself happy and create the life he wanted and saying all the reasons why he couldn’t wasn’t helping anyone, least of all him. Sometimes we just need to shut up and do it! Do It Afraid!
Both these quotes I heard when I was in my teens and I’ve always carried them in my heart. I’ve hung them up on walls, jotted them down in books and passed them onto friends. But now that I’m faced with the same dream-making opportunity, now that I really understand what my friend was feeling like and I’m faced with taking my own advise, I could quote a hundred and one sayings about courage but at the end of the day you and I will still be left standing on the edge of that cliff facing the ominous bottom.
If you’re here, if you’ve reached this point like me, ready to take that first step onto the path of your creation out there in the wild of the world that you had entered with me back in part one, I want you to do something with me again now. I want you to take your eyes off the shear depth over the cliff below you and raise them to the endless sky above you, which holds yours and my possibilities. Focus on that, face it, tell yourself that you deserve to have the chance to fulfill your dreams, challenge yourself and I want you to jump with me off that cliff and believe with all your heart that you’ll either grow wings or find a pair waiting for you when you hit the ground. Either way we’re going to fly!
This concludes the three-part series ‘Living Your Dreams’. Thanks for being so patient with me as I sorted out my thoughts over the past, almost a year now was it? And remember, critics may lie, so don’t let them upset you.
- Written by Travesaou
Copyright © 2010 Critics May Lie All Rights Reserved