So, continuing from Part One which you should read before this part which went through all the lovely physical details. Really, you can’t understand or at least attempt to understand what a woman experiences during her period without knowing the physical so don’t be shy, read part one and pop back real quick. What I say in this part will make a lot more sense once you do.
As I said in part one, I am writing from personal experience and from talking to other women over the years. This isn’t a text book copy over. Now given peoples ignorance on the matter and their jokes about PMS and everything, despite that apparently it all (ALL meaning, the symptoms mentioned in part one) still goes unnoticed even by the people we live with. So, it seems we’re holding it together a lot more than people give us credit for. And we are expected to still get up and go to work and/or take care of the families and/or businesses, AND smile AND act normal.
When we don’t feel normal. We feel downright horrible. We want to curl up in a ball and die rather than go through this another month. But we soldier on, fighting a war with our bodies which by all intents it is winning.
Now given the specific situation of the man who had asked the question, which I explained to him then, during this time your body is over-sensitive to everything, and again I reiterate from part one, NOT in a good way. Which is probably why you tend to get over-sensitive to everything as well.
For example, lights seem brighter, noises seem louder, my skin actually gets more sensitive, no joke! I swear, I’m cold one minute, warm the next, it’s friggin’ frustrating. I remember feeling so cold one period and feeling thirsty and making a cup of hot tea, and as soon as I looked at the tea I just got so warm but I was still thirsty so I dropped a block of ice into the tea, and as soon as the tea got cold so did I and I wanted something warm again. *Sigh*
I just threw the drink down the sink I didn’t even bother. Now I know my body was reacting ‘over-sensitively’ to the drink itself but I wanted to smash the cup into the wall at the time. Make up your mind body, damnit! So yes, your whisper can ring in her ears like a shout during these days, your touch can irritate her skin. She may go from sad to happy to angry in a split second. It is no fault of yours (I’m assuming it really isn’t) but it’s no fault of hers either.
Why do women get crazy during their period you ask? Because your body is playing devious tricks on you and your mind is desperately trying to deal with it. So, it does feel like you’re going crazy sometimes.
For the women under this stress…
Now I am one of the few women who do agree that women (myself included) need to tone it down during their period but that’s only because I refuse to believe that my will power is so weak that I can let that Bitch dictate my mood (yes, I actually refer to my period as ‘that Bitch’ or ‘the Red Lady’ on her better behaved days). I have had to deal with her every month for almost two decades now and I don’t know about you ladies, but I was not going to live another month succumbing to her raving bitch tendencies. I’m in charge here and she’s going to get put in place.
So I do empathize with my sisters because I KNOW what it feels like. I honestly do feel like randomly punching people in the face but don’t get angry at anybody else for what is happening to you. Understand where it is coming from. If a storm came by every month and you knew it was coming down to the day it would be there and that it was going to wreck havoc every time, wouldn’t you start preparing for it and get better at keeping your life as stable as possible each time it came around? Because you have no choice, it’s going to come no matter what, right?
You can do this. Normally I am very calm during my period. People would be surprised if they knew. Mainly it’s because I’m high on mad pills and my brain is somewhere in the clouds but it’s also because I make an extra effort to keep it together because I already know what’s going to happen. I like to challenge the bitch. You don’t want to go to class well we’re going! You don’t want to smile today well I’m singing my favourite song! What else you wanna try and make me do or not do, bitch? (Please note I’m speaking to my period symptoms here, not me. I can see your raised eyebrows in concern!)
Sure she gets to me but if I need a minute to collect myself, I take it. I have abruptly excused myself from conversations, dropped crying nieces in their cribs and stuck my head outside a window just to take that minute. I step away and talk to myself and ask, if this were a normal day would this bother you? And if I know it wouldn’t, I breathe really deep and let it go.
Your loved ones still love you, your nasty co-worker is still horrible, things haven’t changed. It’s just your body going crazy, not you. Practice reacting to things the way you normally would and if you want to revisit the situation after the storm has passed and your thinking is straight go ahead, but have a default reaction set in place for that time for everything. It’s also good to have a sense of humour about it, (snide jokes that poke fun at my awesome womanhood I do not tolerate, light jokes sure!) It helps sometimes. Leave the bitch for when she’s really needed, and believe me sometimes she is. Your life will be better for it.
Some women think given everything they have to put up with during this time that they deserve the right to be snappy and bite off some heads. I do not agree. Not because I don’t understand but because I know what it feels like to be treated like that from someone you care about, knowing that you didn’t do anything wrong to warrant that reaction and then having them come and act as nice as sunshine a few days after when they’re feeling better, when they’ve been bitching at you for days when you were just trying to help them.
In any other situation, that would not be okay. You would not want to have anything to do with that person after a few months of being treated like this especially if it’s somebody who should care about you and you would expect would at least try to be more civil to you, someone who also cares about them, than some random stranger on the street.
So that’s a side note for my ladies who deal with this bitch every month.
For everyone else…
Just because I am pulling the ladies up by their boot straps for their behaviour during their period doesn’t mean I’m taking any slack from the outsiders either. Not doing anything to warrant their bitchy-ness is one thing but for those who are not understanding, you deserve what you get. For those who are rude I say again, you deserve what you get.
For those, like a young man I know, who always thinks every time I get angry at him I ‘must be on my period’. I swear he will put me on my period five times for the month (God forbid!) just to avoid ownership of any shit he actually did and it’s laughable because no matter how much he does it I have NEVER actually been on my period when I was angry at him and he ‘accused’ me of it.
He has also suggested more than once that women should be locked up during this time. Like animals. I don’t believe I have heard a more insensitive comment by someone who was born from a woman who probably went through all of this herself at some point
And again, back to the symptoms being something that people don’t really notice that women go through during that time but complain about how badly women act anyway (and I acknowledge some do) but believe me the majority are holding up VERY well given what they have to deal with. But for people like that young man, I am not taking any crap from you and I don’t think you ladies should either.
But for the people who care about you (like the man who asked the question after the issue with his wife) who give you space, make your tea, rub your back, call to find out how you’re doing, help to watch the children or with errands, buy your mad pills and your lady ‘stopper plugs’ without shame, who are willing to help when you need them and even those who generally just stay out of your way because they’re not sure of what else they can do, ladies PLEASE give them a break.
Just stop being so mean to the people who care about you because you feel so horrible. At least they’re trying to help and don’t want to lock you away somewhere. Just ride the storm people, it will pass and the clear day will come back afterward.
- Written by Travesaou
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