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My ear drums burn. Why? After eight (8) hours of having ear buds stuck in them streaming song after song of random music and audio lessons they have finally had enough. They’ll get a night’s rest but back to work tomorrow ears because I have a case of ‘don’t-want-to-hear-my-coworkers-itis, and the fever’s getting higher!

The humbug of over-chatty coworkers, contrary gossipers, harassing supervisor’s, complainers and lyrics from so-called suitors!! Gah! I usually could go without headphones for a while if they got damaged and I didn’t have the time to get some new ones, but NOW, they are as vital as coffee in the morning and after reading ROAM ABOUT MIKE’s Caffeinated Ambrosia post a few days ago, THAT IS SAYING SOMETHING!

I try my best not to be dependant on anything and as soon as I feel like I am becoming so, I cut off the thing for a while or permanently, depending on the nature of the dependency. Just in case I live long enough to see the end of the world where every possible comfort and basic need we have are destroyed, I am not going to be the whiny lady who can’t live without her weekly manicure. I’m gonna survive baby! So this dependency on headphones thing …. yeah, it’s getting to me. I literally wanted to cry last week when one side went dead and that is not cool. (My best Darth Vader scream)

I need to deal with this before my inner Buddha lays down a ban for the sake of my throbbing ear drums. After having a holiday yesterday I got some time to collect myself and think the situation through. Maybe it wasn’t that people on work were getting harder to stand at all? Maybe it was that my affinity to stand them was getting weaker?

Regardless of the reason, I thought maybe it would do me well to clearly define the limits I needed from my fellow co-workers so that we could all enjoy a better work environment where I actually responded to them after the first call (sorry, can’t hear you!) and I wasn’t always hearing sirens from deep within my cochlea. Even if just on paper. I’ll decide if I really want to tell them later or maybe I’ll just employ some of the tactics in the links at the end of this post.

MY KIND (in heart) SENTIMENTS

To my boss, your jokes are not funny. I will not laugh at un-funny jokes just because you are my boss. ???? So please don’t make me listen to another family episode, by the bar banter or report on why this thing this person did or said was so funny. There are kiss-ass people in the office who will appreciate it, so please take it to them. They’ll be happy, you’ll be happy and I will not have to listen to your stale jokes. Everyone wins, yes?

To my boss’s secretary (don’t kid yourself honey, whether you have two degrees or not that’s what you are, and with that thought just so you know, you can do better, WHY ARE YOU HERE?!). I know your idea of finding something to do is finding something for somebody else to do but until you stop ‘playing’ mother-hen and eliminate the word ‘now’ from your vocabulary, you are just gonna have to do whatever it is your damn self. I will ignore you for as much and for as long as I can.

To the ass-kissers, enough respect to you. You know what it takes to get ahead to a well-paid albeit potentially meaningless position. Forgive me if I don’t share your sentiments. Never did like being in a box.

To my suitors, when you become the richest man in the world (see Carlos Slim), THEN give me a call.  Not that I expect every man who’s interested in me to be filthy rich, but for NOW, that is the criteria for YOU! By that time (if it ever comes) you’ll have more women than you know what to do with but that also works out in my favour as you won’t care about me anymore anyway, right? Otherwise, please, just DON’T.

To the gossipers, I don’t want to know. End of story.

To those co-workers who are incredibly boisterous in saying everything they hate about the job when the manager isn’t looking, if you’re not going anywhere, SHUT THE HELL UP! A little gratitude goes a long way and don’t tell me you can’t find one thing to be thankful for. Otherwise, there’s something called a curriculum vitae, use it!

To the co-workers who constantly let themselves be bullied and then complain about how unfairly they were treated, no-one will stand up for you if you can’t stand up for yourself! And MOST importantly, no one will stand up for you if you won’t stand up for them! I used to try to help. I’m not doing that anymore, take your own bullets. My chest plate is only strong enough to take my own.

To the know-it-all co-workers, who constantly interrupt conversations with their ‘tactful’ opinions (evident sarcasm) and persistence that they KNOW it to be so, hmm, well, your day will come. Be careful what you claim to be the whole truth and nothing but the truth, you’re live bait for the gossipers and when the time is right, they’ll eat you alive.

Dude seriously needs some headphones.

Now I’m wondering if I should post this or just keep my ear buds in my ears and faze out the uncontrollable. I don’t want to come across as rude. However I’m caring less and less about that these days. Given my extra activities I haven’t posted anything for almost two weeks and work seems more and more like a place I go to to just pass the time until I can get to do what I want to do. Which is why I feel that maybe it’s not that my co-workers are getting more annoying, but that maybe it’s just ME! Me, getting tired of being there and wanting to move on to something else. Please note, despite this I don’t feel the need to constantly complain about it! Um, *hint hint* at the complainers!

My co-workers aren’t bad people after all, albeit annoying AND BOSSY at times. And I’m SURE that I’ve annoyed a few real good in my time as well. But if I need to say this, I’m sure someone needs to hear it or rather read it. So, I’m posting it. Hope it will make somebody laugh, hopefully my co-workers. I guess I’ll find out if they really do read my blog after this. Ha!

Here’s to me and my workmates moving closer to this,

and farther away from this.

Or this…

Woo-hoo!! Only cordless phones where I work. God knows why. Then again, a cordless makes a good boomerang…. :-p

Written by – Travesaou

Copyright © 2010 Critics May Lie All Rights Reserved

Interesting articles:

How to Stop Annoying Office Talkers

13 Coworkers You Hate – Annoying Workplace Habits

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