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For anyone who read my last post, yes, I know Dani Moz was voted off The Voice this week. I’ll be looking out for her elsewhere though, but I’m even less interested in The Voice now.

Anyway, there’s this little girl I know and she keeps singing this song. Who you ask? Just one of the little girls who always want me to play with them. I think they’re called nieces. 😀 Anyway, her version of the song starts off low, and mumbled, mainly I think because she doesn’t know all the words, but then suddenly it gets louder when she reaches the words ‘Let It Go!’

So I finally asked her, ‘What song is that you’re singing?’ and she gladly helped me out of the rock I’ve been under and told me it was from the movie ‘Frozen’.

Now, give me a break. Disney stopped being fascinating years ago when I started watching anime.

Gotta Catch'Em All!

Gotta Catch’ Em All!

First Generation Pokemon Master representing here! Boom! That’s more my speed but God bless these little girls. I’m watching Disney again, reluctantly. So, the next thing I know I am being loaned a Frozen DVD to watch overnight as long as I get it back the next day, for girls can only live one night without their favourite Disney movie!

But nice aunties are the exception and according to my sister, given the amount of times it has been played already, it probably won’t last much longer before it starts to experience technical difficulties, so I have to take my chance now or maybe never.

I watched it, and thought about all the things that were said about it both bad and good and a few things are still left to be said, I think. So, despite how late I am (I never bother with anything when it’s in the know for some reason) I decided to do a review of Disney’s Frozen. And since it’s been reviewed the heck out of by now, this might, just, probably be the last one done. Maybe.

There are spoilers all over this post but I think time for caring about that has pretty much passed. If you haven’t seen the movie by now, you didn’t want to see it to begin with and spoilers shouldn’t matter to you anyway.

The Last Frozen movie Review

The Last Frozen movie Review

Frozen overall is a good movie. Disney knows their animated special effects. I can’t fault them on that. The characters and mannerisms were believable especially Elsa and Anna as children. Disney definitely do know the quirks of little girls.

I don’t know what to say about the songs though and I’m talking about the songs in the movie as I understand there were others on the actual Audio CD that were not included in the movie. ‘Let It Go’ is hands down the best song in the bunch. No wait, let me say what I am really thinking. ‘Let It Go’ is the only good song in the movie. I didn’t feel anything from the others. Just too… casual, if you know what I mean.

Randomly dropping ‘totally’ into a song can pass, maybe (I think I will be randomly dropping ‘totally’ everywhere in this post) but ‘gassy’? Eh? Sure, you can ‘totally’ find something that rhymes with gassy, but come on! Nobody wants to say the word ‘gassy’ far less to sing it. Anna was hyper enough as it was. You just had to look at her face and tell she could pass out with anticipation for the gates to open. I didn’t need to know she could possibly be passing gas as well.

So you have IBS, keep it to yourself. Thank God they didn’t put that line in one of the songs! And what about, ‘People smell better than reindeers’ , ‘don’t let the frost bite, bite’. Really? Some of those song lyrics just sounded like really bad jokes. Disney is supposed to be known for their kick ass songs if nothing else, what happened here?

Disney princesses trying not to be Disney but yet still managing to 'totally' be Disney

Disney princesses trying not to be Disney but yet still managing to ‘totally’ be Disney

I also felt like they were trying too hard to not just break their stereotypes but to let everybody know that THAT was what they were ‘totally’ trying to do. Like, having a whole conversation about how crazy it was to marry somebody you just met? Disney, EVERYBODY already knows this but you. Devoting a whole conversation to this is not necessary.

While Kristoff’s shock was understandable, we all know Anna’s parents would have probably arranged a marriage for her anyway so why would marrying somebody she ‘just’ met be strange to HER? Hmmm? You’re contradicting yourself Disney! I really was wondering, where is this conversation going, and almost expected her to answer, ‘Hello! I’m a princess. What else do you expect? I’m still at a tender age, it’s mandatory I marry a guy I’ve only known for a few minutes, that’s what we do.”

But they didn’t try hard enough because as usual it felt a little rushed to shove believable true love onto Anna and Kristoff just because some little gnome love doctors sang a ‘marry me’ song for them, so that Anna could then be justified in her turning away from the prospect of saving her own life through true love’s first kiss so she could save her sister instead. The sacrifice would have had the same impact either way but I know why it was done! Somebody had to get cozy with somebody else because this is Disney, they are predictable (I can still sense a song coming. Every. Time.) and the movie always ends with a…

-_-

I also thought the how and why behind Elsa ending up on the mountain was a little weak. Frankly, I thought the how and why of most of the problems in the show was a bit weak but I didn’t expect the plot to be complex anyway. Not because it’s a children’s show (hello, can somebody say Studio Ghibli!) but because it’s Disney (yes, I will be using that as an excuse for everything). I just thought though that someone with such bitchin’ powers like Elsa should not care if the Duke of Weselton or anybody else for that matter thinks she’s a witch or whatever. Punk got a problem, punk can get the hell out of Arendelle and didn’t it come to that in the end anyway, so that crisis didn’t seem very strong to me.

If this was a modern retelling of the Snow Queen it was immensely vague. I didn’t immediately recognize it as that and the Snow Queen is one of my favourite Hans Christen Andersen tales.

So the movie over all gets a ‘B-‘, the story line I’ll give a ‘C’ for being borderline adorable and not much more. It had a good enough affect on me that I did not hate it, which is a step in the right direction.

I’m an adult watching a kiddy movie, what more do you want?

Characters…?

Anna: I totally expected Anna to get hit by a horse or something. What else do you think is going to happen when you’re running and singing and dancing through the streets on your own without looking where you’re going? She’s lucky they didn’t have motor cars!

And tell me if this sounds familiar. Too many times this Disney movie felt like another Disney movie about a hyper, sheltered (by that I DO mean locked up) young girl, excited to finally see the world who barters with a ruffian!!! (yes, I used that word on purpose, ring any bells?) for help to take her somewhere she’s trying to go? If you are a true Disney fanatic you would have figured out what movie I’m talking about by now.

images3

I enjoyed Tangled much more though, if I might add. Took my other niece and two of her cousins to see it then. Maybe it was the first big screen viewing that made the better impact that I didn’t have with Frozen. Maybe it was the characters or maybe it was because it just had better songs. Much better. I have been known to break into sudden bursts of ‘I Have A Dream’ which was the corniest song in the show, but it worked for some reason. Frozen songs just didn’t do it for me. Sigh.

Hans: I ‘totally’ suspected Hans but I kinda suspect anyone who’s a typical prince charming. I mean who’s always around to catch people when they trip anyway? You kind of start to suspect that they’re the ones causing you to trip after a while. Just shifty.

My first big laugh: The Duke of ‘Weaseltown’! It killed me! Ah yes, let me get back my adult composure. Eh-hem!

Elsa: Can I just say, if someone in my family had a totally cool talent like Elsa, I would be freaking out, in a good way. Built a palace in what… 30-something seconds? Please, that’s child’s play. She’s a friggin X-Men! Of course, if they did set an iceman yeti on me that would be a freak out in a bad way. Ohhhh! She did provide the one surprise I got from this movie! A dress with a killer split!

BAM!

BAM!

Okay maybe not ‘killer’. Jessica Rabbit had a killer split but above the knee was not expected either. Go Elsa! Trying to break from the good girl image. As if you could. Girl, catch yourself you’re in a Disney movie. Behave!

If Disney didn’t have somebody named Josh playing a main character, they can’t call themselves Disney. What is it with Disney and Josh’s? But I’ll ‘let it go!’ (xD!) because Josh Gad did voice Olaf. Which brings me to…

Favourite character: Olaf. Hands down. This snowman is on dope. Straight up crack. He went into a high induced medley about summer. Summer? Are you crazy? It’s like in The Santa Clause whenever someone mentions ‘The List’ you’re sure to hear someone start singing ‘Santa Claus Is Coming To Town’. Don’t ever mention summer again or be prepared for a sonnet.

fun-frozen-clip-with-olaf-the-snowman-singing-in-summer-preview

Don’t take me on, I love this guy. He picked a lock with his nose! Ha! This snowman bess! He should get his own show.

Stupidest people: The whole of Arendelle. This prince dude JUST got here and nobody is questioning him when he says the princess is dead, because he’s nice??? Steups. Idiots.

Best line: Olaf: “Some people are worth melting for.” Awwwwwww.

Weird stuff: Kristoff. The dude talks to his reindeer then talks back to himself answering as if his reindeer is talking to him. Reminds me of Scooby Doo. Mainly because I always thought Scooby sounded like Shaggy was throwing his voice for him to talk. Better yet, can somebody say Johnny Bravo meets Scooby Doo? “You understand what that reindeer says?”

dog

And furthermore, you want true love Disney? These are the kinds of twists I’m looking for! Kristoff, that reindeer, Sven, shares his food with you, which was gross by the way, but he risked his life for you and you leave him to go and save Anna? Reindeer is man’s best friend! What’s wrong with you? That’s true love. Right there!

Cool Stuff: Kudos to Disney for creating an innovative way for parents to get their little ones out of bed using their favourite movie, “Wanna build a snowman?

Overall the basic lesson was the same, which really shouldn’t change. Love Conquers All! Apparently, it even melts frozen hearts. Did we know this before? Well, let’s just say that somewhere the Grinch is giving Frozen the finger.

My biggest peeve with this movie?

So, I left this for last because it’s long and also might have turned off some Disney fans from reading anymore. Frozen is a good movie but that’s about it. I do not understand the mega success, not because the movie wasn’t good but because a lot of reviewers of Frozen have been tooting their horns about it having ‘Don’t Need A Prince To Save You’ and ‘Romantic / Villian Subplot’ twists and using that to justify the success and awards it’s been getting. That is ridiculous.

Why? Because Disney is late. Incredibly, totally, hopelessly late to preview any of those said characteristics in their movies. That is not a reason to give them an award! There are an umpteenth number of movies, good movies, great movies, who have shown all those twists in their stories and done it better looooooooooong before Frozen was even being dreamed of and they never got the same recognition as Frozen.

Frankly, if they wanted to have more ‘girl power’ they could have followed the original Snow Queen story more closely. Gerda sets out by herself and faces a sorceress and robbers and horrible weather to save her friend Kai from the Snow Queen. That was a far stronger story line for girls if you asked me and if they wanted I’m sure their story board people would have found a way to fit the heroine saving herself in there somewhere still.

So don’t tell me it’s a great success because it portrays elements that have never been done before, even if you just mean in a ‘Disney’ movie. Please.

Tell me Disney Studios is an Oscar favourite.

Tell me international films aren’t considered as much as American ones.

Tell me kids like the Disney labeled crack and parents love buying it for them and that’s what heaped the box office in their favour.

I might actually believe those things but don’t tell me it was better than some of the animated movies that came out last year that had better soundtracks, better special effects, better and more appealing story lines, and were not as highly recognised. I don’t know if I will be watching any popular awards shows this year or anytime soon after this. The favouritism is so evident now and not just with animated movies. I liked Frozen (I liked Tangled better, I liked Mulan best!) but it was not the best animated film on the table last year.

Critics may lie, my friends. At the end of the day see Frozen anyway you want. But do see it, if you haven’t. Even if it’s just for Olaf.

– Written by Travesaou

Copyright © 2010-2015 Critics May Lie All Rights Reserved

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