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So, November the 19th was International Men’s Day.

mens-day

I meant to post this two days ago. But between a birthday, sleepovers, heavy rainfall and a sudden long power outage, it just was not happening.

But really it was. Since when? Since 1992. Yes, over 20 years now. Doesn’t anybody celebrate it? I hope so but not anybody I know. :/

Didn’t hear anything on the radio… or see any posts on Facebook or Twitter about it but since I was busy with other things, maybe I missed it. Cause I am sure people wouldn’t miss the chance to celebrate the fathers and brothers and husbands and sons who have made the grass greener on their side of the fence.

Wouldn’t they?

I am trying hard to keep this post happy and in good spirits in celebration of the ‘men’s day’ but honestly all I can think about is the jack-ass of a man (referred to hereafter as Jack-ass) who heckled me on the street two days ago while I made my way home from my sister’s, umbrella up, pants soaked and rolled up to my knees.

There was more than one heckler for the day but this particular one kept yelling all the things he would do to me at the 43rd hour of the day (can’t tell you when that is) EVEN after I had turned the corner and he was at the end of the other street. I could still hear him.

really

It made me think that maybe this is why it is hard for people to celebrate or even recognise International Men’s day. Why posts are met with anger and resentment and you have to justify why you posted at all or, you just get no likes or comments because no one wants to say the obvious.

That men have been the cause of most if not all of the world’s ills and detriment throughout history. Now in all honesty, I have to say that that was their own fault because they insist on being in charge all the time! If you would give women a chance to lead you will see that we can shit things up just as badly and then we can level the playing field of blame and you wouldn’t come across as looking so bad all the time. Just a suggestion.

But I sat down to write this and seriously spaced out for 10 mins not knowing what to put down, the man’s voice ringing in my ear and the uncomfortable anger burning in my stomach because I knew I could not do anything about it at the time. People were watching you see. Can’t have witnesses at the scene of a crime.

try me

But I don’t want it to be this way. It doesn’t make sense having a day for men and hardly anyone thinks it’s worthwhile to celebrate it. Well, no one I know. We need to change that. MEN especially need to change that. They need to get more active in dealing with the jackasses that besmudge the good name of their gender. Because I’m harsh with the ones who wreck mine! I’ve gone Star Quality on the few women I know who’s even come around me with this #FuckItUpChallenge madness!

Despite the shit I take from far too many men on a regular basis they should have a better November the 19th. Because men have done good in society and in the world. From inventions, to taking the steps to passing life changing laws that make everyone’s life valuable, to literally physically building towns and cities and nations.

I have great respect for builders. Yes, I know they are not all men, I’m just saying the building you are sitting in right now, or the sky scraper you are looking out at, at some point many people, MOST LIKELY men, together built that with their own two hands. I find that amazing.

It would help A LOT if parents got better at raising their sons to be more respectful of a woman’s space, even in public, and respectful of themselves!

Too many men shy away from close interaction with other men for fear of appearing gay. Quite frankly most men only heckle women to assert that they are NOT because they are so desperately afraid someone will challenge them on it.

Getting boys more open, or rather I should say ‘keeping’ them open because children naturally are very open and loving, it is society that trains them otherwise, is the key to fixing this.

Let our boys know it’s okay to talk to other men about their problems and be close with them and have healthy brotherly relationships. Then they would feel more comfortable in their masculinity because they are accepted by other men as a man not because of what they do to ‘be’ a man, and they won’t have to constantly feel the need to defend that.

boys-playing-school-oct11-istock

 

Just the way that I know women need other women to bond with, so do men need other men. Even I admit Jack-ass had to have been mentally unstable in someway. I mean the 43rd hour? :/  Maybe if he had a ‘brother’ to talk to, someone he could confide in and laugh and talk with so he could affirm his masculinity well… who knows.

But now that I’ve shaken that off I would like to encourage all men to be a force to be reckoned with, in their homes, their jobs, society, the world. Don’t sit around passively. Leave the ‘women are taking the world from us’ mantras in the 60’s and 70’s where it belongs. We all share this world and have to take care of it or muck it up together as time will eventually show.

Be someone who gets things done, is kind and dependable. Because you (your gender) has done it all before. No need to kick up the dust but no need to sweep the desert either. Find your balance in the things and people that make you happy. It’s in this place you can be the best man you can be.

You are needed. You are important. The Jack-ass on the road probably gave someone joy at some point in time in his pitiful life and for that I wish him well.

Happy (Be-It-Late ! 😀  ) International Men’s Day!

– Written by Travesaou

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